tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2637431625691198463.post117849942920645273..comments2024-01-03T12:35:23.759-05:00Comments on <i>♥Donnie Darko Girl♥</i>: My Flash Friday Entry #1 ~Jennifer~http://www.blogger.com/profile/05952809868354553112noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2637431625691198463.post-82377975645329416092013-04-30T23:34:55.290-04:002013-04-30T23:34:55.290-04:00It looks like fun...goodness I want to, but I'...It looks like fun...goodness I want to, but I'm working on getting the first book in my next series out for the fall. If I do this, I'll be daydreaming storylines. I love that it's a swarm of zombies! I'd be so freaked. She's sort of hidden away, which makes it all worse because then she'll have to decide to hide or flee. A wave of death, a breeze of the worst stench, the leaves rustling with the droning sound of zombies, there's so much you could do with her up on that ladder. With farm girl I think John Deer and farmer tan. Maybe she's in a tank top because she's determined to get rid of her farmer tan. I'll be tuning in for sure!! robgirlbookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03398614063792587098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2637431625691198463.post-20087592552663426362013-04-30T20:19:27.583-04:002013-04-30T20:19:27.583-04:00I see what you mean - that line is redundant, and ...I see what you mean - that line is redundant, and it's already implied she's looking out over trees. I was thinking she's a farm girl. What would be a good sentence to convey that without just coming out and saying it? <br /><br />Haha, the swarm! I honestly was thinking of zombies, lol. How freaky would it be on a perfect, sunny day to look out over fields and see a horde of zombies shambling your way? I think it might scare me more than if it was night. :) <br /><br />Thank you so much for taking the time to give me your insight!! Love it! I can't wait for this Friday's contest. Have you thought about doing it, too? It's really fun. :D~Jennifer~https://www.blogger.com/profile/05952809868354553112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2637431625691198463.post-41572225674016632372013-04-28T21:48:32.583-04:002013-04-28T21:48:32.583-04:00I can perfectly imagine the small town she's s...I can perfectly imagine the small town she's so eager to flee. That's excellent! This part, "she climbed the ladder held up by her favorite tree until she could see the expanse of fields surrounding the trees" could stop at expanse of fields, or expanse of fields crawling for miles. I want an image of the fields instead of the mentioning of trees again. With this one sentence you could tell me the season, her homelife...farm girl...tomboy, even her income level. I like the last sentence a lot, but the word things is too vague. Is the swarm unnatural? I like the voice, Jennifer, that to me is the most important element to any story. Happy writing. <br /><br />robgirlbookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03398614063792587098noreply@blogger.com