IWSG #14 ~ May 2014

Alex J. Cavanaugh created this awesome group, which I'm proud to take part in every month (or just about every month, lol). The IWSG now has its own blog as well. Click here to add your post link to the list. 

The first Wednesday of every month you can share your worries without judgement and/or your triumphs with complimentary confetti! ;D Join us - it's fun, a great way to connect with fellow writers, and we all can support one another! 

I'm still feeling pretty good about this whole writing thing. ;) Right now I'm reading a book for review called All My Restless Life to Live by Dee DeTarsio, about a soap opera writer who gets mysterious messages from her dad's computer after her own crashes. This book reminds me of all the writing projects I used to work on when I was a kid. 

I have always been a soap opera fan. I've been watching soaps since I was in the womb! My mom and grandma watched all the CBS shows - The Young & the Restless, The Bold & the Beautiful, the now-defunct As the World Turns (R.I.P.!), and Guiding Light (also cancelled, R.I.P.!). My mom also bought Soap Opera Weekly, which I read RELIGIOUSLY. 

I'd make issues of my own soap magazine and write my own scripts for Young & the Restless and Bold & the Beautiful (early fan fic?). My Barbies would act out the scripts, lol. I'd make my sister be a couple characters, too.  

I used to write and draw comic books, inspired by the Archie comics I read. When I was in sixth grade, I wrote a "book" over my spring break called Seven Friends which was basically my idea of cool future plans for us all. Unfortunately, I lost it. >.< 

For English class that same year we had to write and illustrate a children's book. Mine was called The Pen and the Penguin, about a penguin author with writer's block who conquered it by working with his pen (who was alive of course!). I'm not sure if I still have it or not; one day I'm going to look for it at my dad's house. He told me my mom saved everything, but there were some things stored in the shed that he had to throw out when mice got into it (there's a cornfield behind his house). 

I used to make newsletters, too, and hand them out to my family. I'm sure they just loved those, haha. 

So thinking about all of this made me realize how much of my childhood I spent writing and dreaming of being an author. When I got into high school, I wrote poetry and short stories. I've kept a journal since I was nine years old. Look at all the book reviews and blog posts I write, too! 

My point is, so I may have put away that novel I began a while ago. But I'm still writing everyday. My goal is to allot ten minutes to writing my novel everyday. I think that's a totally doable goal to start out with, and if I write longer than ten minutes, then even better! 

I hope you enjoyed strolling with me down memory lane. Do you have any childhood projects you worked on and forced on your family, too? ;)  

IWSG #13 ~ April 2014

Alex J. Cavanaugh created this awesome group, which I'm proud to take part in every month (or just about every month, lol). The IWSG now has its own blog as well. Click here to add your post link to the list. 

The first Wednesday of every month you can share your worries without judgement and/or your triumphs with complimentary confetti! ;D Join us - it's fun, a great way to connect with fellow writers, and we all can support one another!

I cringed upon rereading my IWSG post from last month. Yikes. I was feeling really down. Luckily, I'm feeling more myself this time around, and it's thanks to just getting back from a fun vacation with my family and the weather is slowly starting to get better. Very slowly, but I'll take it! 

I'm studying some books I picked up for my Kindle on how to structure plot (the loose 25-50-25 rule) with a focus on the middle section where the action takes place. It's helping me out a lot with my zombie novel, which is refusing to be ignored. It's an idea I feel would be wrong to let go, and the only reason I ever thought about it was because there didn't seem to be enough for an entire full length novel. 

I realize after perusing through tips on adding substance to my story that my idea is a good one - I just need more. I need several small conflicts with one overarching conflict. My characters could use some sprucing up, too. I'm not even that far into the story yet, so I believe they'll develop over time but need some dimension now. 

Thanks to everyone who gave me support last month. I really needed it. I'm happy to spread the warm fuzzies I'm finally feeling. I know I'm not the only one who's gone through some rough times in the process of writing. So how are you doing with your writing? Drop me a line! ;)

IWSG #12 ~ March 2014

Alex J. Cavanaugh created this awesome group, which I'm proud to take part in every month (or just about every month, lol). The IWSG now has its own blog as well. Click here to add your post link to the list. 

The first Wednesday of every month you can share your worries without judgement and/or your triumphs with complimentary confetti! ;D Join us - it's fun, a great way to connect with fellow writers, and we all can support one another!

I don't have a whole lot to talk about. I have no motivation at this time to write. I'm feeling depressed, and maybe I just need some warmth and sunshine. It seems so far out of reach to write and publish a book at this time, I don't know where to start. There's so much conflicting advice out there that I don't know which way is up. :/ 

Even if I write a book and pour money into getting it edited, a cover designed, and blog tours, how much does it really help? I'm not sure. It seems like so many indie authors out there are struggling to get their work noticed. Don't mind me, I just need to spend a week in Hawaii or something. 

How has your writing been? Are you feeling down? Up? All around? Let me know! 

   

IWSG #11 ~ November 2013

Alex J. Cavanaugh created this awesome group, which I'm proud to take part in every month (or just about every month, lol). The first Wednesday of every month you can share your worries without judgement and/or your triumphs with complimentary confetti! ;D Join us - it's fun, a great way to connect with fellow writers, and we all can support one another! 

"Lean on me...when you're not strong...I'll help you carry on..."

Wow! It's already eleven days into NaNo, and I've just now signed up, have written ZERO words, and could this be a worse month?? Not because of my NaNo EPIC FAIL, but with the recovery from open heart surgery my husband's grandfather is facing and just life in general, the last thing I've really thought too much about is writing. 

I haven't even looked at my WIP since last NaNo. That's sad. As a matter of fact, I'm like shocked it's NaNo time again! Where did this past year go, my god! I'll be working on my writing starting tomorrow. I'm doing it. No matter what! I'll be working on my novel from last year that I started, tentatively titled Violet. 

Anyone who would like to friend me there, here's my profile link: 

http://nanowrimo.org/participants/donniedarkogirl

See ya there! :D

IWSG #10 ~ September 2013

Alex J. Cavanaugh created this awesome group, which I'm proud to be a part of. The first Wednesday of every month you can share your feelings and worries without judgement plus your triumphs with congratulations. Join this group - it's fun, it's a great way to connect with your fellow writers, and we all can support one another! :D

With NaNoWriMo just around the corner - crazy!! - I've been reading a lot of blog posts with helpful advice about character development, plot structure, etc. I've also paid a lot of attention to author interviews, and there's one thing that sticks out in all of them - their characters seem to come to them, demanding to be heard. 

My question is why am I not hearing voices?? Why isn't anyone asking me to tell his or her story? When I write, all I can imagine is myself as the main character, and that's just not going to work. It won't be authentic. So how can I start hearing some voices? Any advice? 

IWSG #9 ~ June 2013

This group is the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh. I've met and made friends with many cool writers and have been able to share my feelings and worries about the process of writing without fear of judgement. You don't have to feel insecure to join either. You can join and give support to those of us who are having those moments of wanting to give up or those days where we're just straight up freaking out. Either way, it's definitely fun and worth it!

I've entered two flash fiction contests, which take place every Friday at the Flash Friday blog. I've missed a couple of the contests, but I'm thinking about making my own photo prompts and writing about those for practice. I really think flash fiction is very difficult - there was one story that couldn't be shorter or longer than 100 words. One hundred words for an entire story to be told! Yikes! 

My hope is this will be good practice for me and allow my writing skills to develop. On the Flash Friday blog, there's a winner plus honorable mentions. Then the following Monday another entry is chosen to be analyzed with what worked and made the story strong in so few words. I think this could really help me get a feel for what makes a good scene. 

How about you? Anything new in your writing world? :D

IWSG ~ May 2013

This group is the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh. I've met and made friends with many cool writers and have been able to share my feelings and worries about the process of writing without fear of judgement. You don't have to feel insecure to join either. You can join and give support to those of us who are having those moments of wanting to give up or those days where we're just straight up freaking out. Either way, it's definitely fun and worth it!

Just last Friday I entered a flash fiction contest for the first time. It's held every Friday with a prompt at Flash Friday , and you post your entry in the comments. I posted my entry there and also on my blog here. If you'd like to read it and give me any advice about how to improve my lack of flash fiction writing skills for tomorrow, that'd be awesome!! :D I'm excited for the challenge. Who knows? I might even write something I can use in my 60s era zombie novel! :D

IWSG #8 ~ April 2013

This group is the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh. I'm so happy to have been referred to this group by my friend and author, Michael Pierce. Thanks to both of you! I've met and made friends with many cool writers and have been able to share my feelings and worries about the process without fear of judgement.

Last month I posted about my insecurity writing book reviews. I think my moment of crisis has passed. I'm going to keep being honest with my opinions and use my own voice as though I am talking to a friend. Different people like different aspects to be included in book reviews, so if there's anything I have in mine or don't have in mine that you'd like to be there/not be there, always feel free to leave a comment! :D

The novel I began writing last November for NaNoWriMo, tentatively titled Violet, takes place in the early nineties in the grunge era. What I really wanted to do was set the story in the sixties. My thinking was it might be a different twist on the zombie genre if zombies were drafted to go to war in Vietnam. There could be pro-zombie/anti-war protestors, fighting for zombies to have human rights as well as fighting for peace and being against the draft.

This is just the bare bones of the novel - a very basic idea. There will be different things going on between different characters - I really think the possibilities are endless.

This will also require a lot of research, which is mainly why I didn't write the story this way in November. I wanted to pound out 50,000 words; however, now I have time to rewrite the story, and by the time November rolls around this year, I might just have this thing done! :D

What do you think? Does this sound like a different twist on the genre, or are there novels out there that sound too similar?

IWSG #7 ~ March 2013

I meant to post this on the day I was supposed to, which is the first Wednesday of the month, but that obviously didn't happen, lol. So here I am on Friday night!

This group is the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh. I'm so happy to have been referred to this group by my friend and author, Michael Pierce. Thanks to both of you! I've met and made friends with many cool writers and have been able to share my feelings and worries about the process without fear of judgement.

Lately I've been freaking out over writing reviews, so I'd like to see what you guys have to say about writing them and if you have any advice for me. :)

I guess the more reviews I write, the more I worry that I'm repeating myself, especially with books I love. I don't want to say "this book blew me away" in every review for instance. Do you know what I mean? Then I think about whether I am getting my point across clearly, or am I being confusing? Am I including what "should be" in a review? Should I be formal or should I write as though I'm talking about the book to a friend? As you can tell, I've thought about this a lot! Maybe too much, lol. So, I need to know - what do you think?

IWSG #6 ~ February 2013

I think I missed last month's IWSG post, eep! Don't kick me out guys, lol. This group is the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh. I'm so happy to have been referred to this group by my friend and author, Michael Pierce. Thanks to both of you! I've met and made friends with many cool writers and have been able to share my feelings and worries about the process without fear of judgement.

I must admit that I haven't touched my NaNoWriMo novel since the end of November, but after watching the movie Young Adult starring Charlize Theron (which, by the way, is completely mislabeled as a comedy, lol) I've got the motivation to tackle Violet again. My two main concerns with this work are that by the time it's ready to be edited and published, zombie novels will have gone by the wayside, and I don't feel like I have direction--I'm kind of aimlessly wandering around.

There were days when my characters would show me a new side of themselves, or my plot took a completely different route than I had anticipated. Those days were awesome. Those days were when I felt like this whole writing thing is so easy and awesome and so right for me. Then I'd have those times where I barely could crank out 500 words, let alone my goal of 2,000 or 2,500 for the day. I know this happens to a lot of writers, and I empathize--it sucks!

I'm just going to forge ahead, and if it ends up being a novel that can't be published, then oh well. I had a blast writing it. :D

iwsg #6 december

Hey everyone and welcome to my sixth IWSG post! The IWSG is the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh (I've been waiting for an awesome opportunity to throw "brainchild" into a sentence, lol) where writers can express their highs and lows throughout the process of writing. If you'd like to join, visit Alex's blog at the link above. You'll be so thankful when you do. :)

I missed last month when I got sucked into NaNoWriMo, and then I almost missed this month because I've just returned to Earth after falling off of it. I didn't make it to the end of NaNoWriMo--I didn't even meet the halfway mark, but after some time grieving over my loss, I'm okay with it. I have more of a draft to work with than I did on October 31st. My husband even bought me a super cute purple monster flash drive to cheer me up cause he's just that awesome. :)

It was cool to take a break from writing my memoir and work on some fiction. My novel is tentatively titled Violet and takes place where zombies and humans coexist side by side. There are rogue zombies who don't want any part of "normal" society and trying to fit in with humans. I have been seriously giving thought to having the story take place in the 60's with riots concerning zombies being drafted into the Vietnam War instead of human beings. I haven't quite worked out all of my plans yet. At this point, anything can happen!

Did you participate in NaNoWriMo this year? Have you in the past? How did your month turn out for you?

IWSG #5 ~ October 2012

Hey everyone and welcome to my fifth IWSG post! The IWSG is the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh (I've been waiting for an awesome opportunity to throw "brainchild" into a sentence, lol) where writers can express their highs and lows throughout the process of writing. If you'd like to join, visit Alex's blog at the link above. You'll be so thankful when you do. :)

I'd like to post another paragraph from the rough draft of my memoir. This is still in the beginning of the book:

A little over a year after my maternal grandfather died from brain cancer, my mom was diagnosed with brain cancer--the very same type we had just watched Grandpa battle until his death. I had cried at his funeral as though I had never cried before--I couldn't stop and thought surely the tears must run out soon. Eventually, as days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, the tears slowed down only to begin anew once we learned of my mom's diagnosis.

Never before had my world felt so out of control. Never before had I felt the pain of moving in a world I didn't understand anymore, where I was stripped of my childhood once and for all. I look back on my journals from that time period, and there are so few references to the events of such magnitude happening all around me that sometimes I have to wonder if I was actually there or am I reading through someone else's memories? My despair was deep. How could my family and I be strong enough to go through watching another of our loved ones fight the very same disease all over again!

The next section is further into the book:


There was nothing I could do when my mom lost the rest of her hair from the radiation treatments, vomited every night after chemotherapy sessions, began having seizures, and lost more and more of her memory. I remember the utter and complete frustration on her face when she could not remember the words she wanted to use to express herself. I wanted to supply them for her so badly, but I didn't know what it was she wanted to tell me.

It's a lot of heavy material, but before I get into the meat of the story, I want to explain what our lives were like before my grandpa and mom were diagnosed with cancer. At this moment in time, I still want the very first paragraph to be the following (I also posted this particular paragraph in last month's  IWSG post):

Lightning struck our house the day my mom died. By that time she was in a coma, lying in a hospital bed in our living room. I had long ago begun sleeping on the couch in there with her, keeping vigil over her at night. The soft swoosh swoosh of the oxygen tank breathing for her should have lulled me to sleep at night, but I was terrified to sleep. My racing pulse and overwhelmed mind would not have allowed it anyway. Most nights I just dozed off and on, awakening from troubled dreams. I just knew that I didn't want her to die alone. I had just turned fourteen.

I'm feeling good with the progress I'm making. Thanks to this group, I can keep myself on track and accountable! :D

I'm also really dying to write fiction, especially this month when every year I soak up all things horror for the entire month! I read horror novels back to back and watch horror movies every weekend (when the kids are asleep, lol). I have several ideas kicking around my head right now, and with the emotional toll writing the memoir can take on me, it'd be nice to work on some fiction and take a break from the heavy stuff.

What do you think about my rough draft so far? Do you like to work on a couple of different projects at a time, or do you prefer to see one through all the way to the end before taking on a new one?

Thank you for hanging out with me and listening to me ramble on, lol! I've gotta hit the hay so I can take my kiddo to school in the morning, but I'll be making my rounds tomorrow and visiting you!

IWSG #4 ~ September 2012

Wow, I can't believe it's September already! I have been writing as much as I can, but August was an exceptionally busy month for me family wise. My niece was born on the 10th. :) I've been helping my sister with her new baby, and she's helping me with my kids since I still can't walk on my broken foot yet. It's working out nicely--we make a good team. My blog went by the wayside, but part of that is because I had to wrestle the laptop from my daughter while she was still on summer break, lol. She's so addicted to Club Penguin!

I'm really happy to be a member of this group, the Insecure Writer's Support Group, because not only does it allow me to meet new people and get to know the people I've already met, but also because it gives me accountability. I don't slack off on my writing like I used to. I think to myself, damn, I can really do this! I also appreciate learning more about self-publishing. I always thought I'd go the traditional publishing route as I was growing up, but now there are more opportunities out there to follow my dream. The best and most stressed piece of advice I have read from multiple authors is edit, edit, edit. I couldn't agree more! I'm gonna edit my butt off. First, I need an entire first draft done. One day at a time, right? :)

The other day, my sister reminded me of the first "book" I had written when we were on spring break from school one year. I was eleven, and she was six. For five days straight, I wrote a book called Seven Friends which really had no plot, lol. It was basically me daydreaming about what I wanted my life to be like when I grew up and the happiness I hoped my friends to have. I wish I still had it, but shortly after I wrote it, I lost it! It was 140 pages of notebook paper. Loose leaf. Written in pencil. Really wish I still had it; my daughter would love to have read that! :D

I'd like to post the very first paragraph of my book that I have so far if y'all don't mind. :)

Lightning struck our house the day my mom died. By that time she was in a coma, lying in a hospital bed in our living room. I had long ago begun sleeping on the couch in there with her, keeping vigil over her at night. The soft swoosh swoosh of the oxygen tank breathing for her should have lulled me to sleep at night, but I was terrified to sleep. My racing pulse and overwhelmed mind would not have allowed it anyway. Most nights I just dozed off and on, awakening from troubled dreams. I just knew that I didn't want her to die alone. I had just turned fourteen.

Okay, I really really want to know what all of you think, your honest thoughts. Don't worry about me--I can take it! lol

After I write and publish my memoir, I want to write fiction. It's weird though because writing fiction scares me more than writing a memoir. Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Thanks so much for stopping by! My goal is to meet ten new people and catch up with my friends on their posts. Happy IWSG day everyone! <3

IWSG #3 ~ August 2012

July has been really great for my writing! I knew that if I promised in my last IWSG post to have progress to report to everyone, then I would hold myself accountable and actually start writing instead of just talking about writing!  And that's just what I did. :)

First of all, I went out and bought a notebook to write my book in. You might wonder why I didn't just start typing on my laptop. Well, I decided I want to be able to write anytime, anywhere. I love writing with a pen in a notebook and seeing everything I've written at once. To me, there's nothing like looking at a page in a notebook; the endless possibilities positively overwhelm me. I relish that feeling, whether the page is filled up with my words or even blank, doesn't matter. Besides, I look at enough screens during the day between TV, my Kindle, and my iPod. I do spend time on the computer everyday, too--reading and commenting on blogs, keeping up with friends and family on Facebook and Goodreads. :) I feel like cutting down on some screen time right now and will type it up once I finish handwriting it.

I want to explain more about what it is that I'm working on. I was twelve years old and nearing the end of seventh grade when we found out my mom was diagnosed with brain cancer. Shortly after I turned fourteen and two weeks before my first day of high school as a freshman, my mom lost her battle. She had just turned forty.

Before all of this happened, my grandpa, her dad, was diagnosed with the same type of brain cancer when I was nine, and I was eleven when he lost his battle. My other grandpa, my dad's dad, died just two months later (not from any type of cancer). To sum it all up, I lost both of my grandpas and my mom within three years. That was a lot of grief for all of us to handle. This period of time is my focus, but as you can imagine, a lot of grief has spilled over into my adulthood affecting me still to this day and especially when I became a mother myself.         

It feels good just to get started. One day, I wrote thirteen pages and felt like hey, I'm going somewhere! The thing about writing my memoir, especially taking into account the subject matter is grief, is that it feels like going to counseling when I begin writing for the day. I don't want to face my emotions at first, but once I get into a groove, it's hard for me to stop writing. Afterwards, I feel a little lighter having faced some heavy emotional work.

By writing this book, I'm reliving some of the saddest parts of my life. From the moment I learned of my mom's diagnosis and the world as I knew it spun out of control, the words for this book began forming in my mind, biding their time to come out someday. And that someday is here at last! <3

IWSG #2 ~ July 2012

The Insecure Writer's Support Group is the creation of Alex J. Cavanaugh to allow writers to confess any concerns or fears they have about the rollercoaster ride it is to become/be an author. This is an invaluable source for us to not only vent but also to encourage and support each other. I've met some really wonderful people who are in this group and discovered their blogs. I've read postings that have given me new ideas for my writing, and I can't recommend joining this group enough. Click on the link above for more information and to sign up if you would like to participate. There's a list of over 260 writers participating with links to their blog posts. The first Wednesday of every month, we post our IWSG entry. You can also join the IWSG conversation on Twitter using #iwsg.

I have a couple of things to confess this month. First of all, I haven't been writing like I should. Usually I write journal entries, book reviews, blog posts, Goodreads group postings, and the like. I've had a difficult time keeping up with my blog and book reviews, let alone doing any real writing for my memoir. The most shameful confession is that I haven't worked on my book. At all. And I really have no excuses. It doesn't matter how busy or not busy I am, I just have to carve time out for writing. That's it.

Though I haven't been writing my book, every night before I fall asleep, I think about how I'd like to write my memoir. The following is my list of ideas:

• Journal entry form ~ the problem with this idea is that the dates wouldn't be accurate since I only sporadically wrote about my feelings of grief in my actual journals
• Simple narrative from my perspective ~ this is the idea that for now seems to be what I'm going to go with. Everything I would talk about would be all from my own perspective. I can't speak for the rest of my family; I can only speak for me.
• Third person narrator ~ Between my freshman and sophomore years of high school, I spent two or three hours a day for a week writing about the grief I had experience during junior high and my freshman year. I still have it and am planning on rewriting it. I wrote myself as the main character with a different name, and all of the events in my writing happened to Alanis (my character name). I didn't really like that I wasn't using my own voice, however, so I doubt I'll be going this route.

A couple of months ago, I entered a short memoir contest with the theme being "Overcoming Loss." I thought the contest had practically been made for me! I didn't win nor was a finalist which was disappointing, but I did generate material that I can use for my book. As I look it over, I can see why I wasn't a finalist. I think I can do much better than that piece of writing. I think another reason I didn't win was because I didn't write enough about the overcoming loss part. Sometimes it seems like loss will always be with me, taunting me to overcome it.

My goal for this month is to get to writing. How can I say I'm an aspiring writer when I'm not actively working on making it happen? Well, I'm gonna make it happen! I want my post for next month's IWSG to tell you how productive I was in writing instead of having to confess I've done not a thing.

Happy writing! <3

IWSG #1 ~ June 2012

Thanks to a suggestion from Michael Pierce, (thank you thank you for connecting me to this great resource!) he helped me connect with The Insecure Writer's Support Group from Alex J. Cavanaugh 's blog. On the first Wednesday of each month, you can write a post on your own blog expressing any concerns and fears you have about writing. Go to Mr. Cavanaugh's blog to sign up for the group, and you will also find many blogs from other writers to follow, read their posts, and comment on what they say with encouraging words of your own. I'm a couple days late with this post, but I thought better late than never.

For at least ten years, I have been attempting to write a memoir about grieving the losses of close family members while trying to grow up at the same time. It's taken me a long time to realize this, but I am my own worst enemy. Before, I thought I had all the confidence in the world in my writing, but I've slowly come to realize that simply is not true. In fact, I am afraid of putting my writing out there because that means I'm also putting "me" out there, making myself emotionally vulnerable. I was even afraid to begin a blog when over a year ago my husband suggested having one might be a good place to start up some serious writing. I finally began this blog in January of this year.

At first, I began to think I wasn't meant to write about my life--what about it would be interesting to others? I thought maybe those family members felt I was using them for my own personal gain. I no longer think this is true. My reasons for wanting to write about my life aren't selfish, and my heart is in the right place. I'd just like to get my words out there, and who knows? Perhaps by reading about my struggles with grief and learning how to "go on" with my life, I might be comforting someone else, saving them from years of pain and suffering. That would make it all worth while to me.