Though so many positives came from band, there was also a downside to my time as a cornet player--I totally sucked. Really and truly. I didn't think that practicing would help, and so I didn't. Hardly ever. Now, however, I realize how wrong I was and had I practiced a lot more than what I did, I could have become a better player. Maybe even great.
Now my sister on the other hand oozed with natural talent. Her flute was like an appendage. She just knew how to use it and use it gracefully and beautifully. She had crazy talent. Still does, though I haven't heard her play in forever and don't even know if she still plays or not. She didn't even have to work at it, and I don't remember her practicing much. When she did, though, it wasn't really practice. It was more like honing her skill.
I was crazy jealous! I remember when I was ten years old, and it was Christmas. My aunt and uncle were at our house, and I played a song for them--I don't remember whose idea it was for me to play. I had just begun band. I messed up one or two notes and tried my best to hold back my tears. It didn't work, and I needed to be alone. Off to my bedroom I went and cried for a while. I always have been much too sensitive.
The problem is that even now I have a bad tendency to avoid doing things I'm not good at even if the objective is to become better. I am impatient and want to be perfect right off the bat, but how often does that happen to us with anything we want to do? Anything worth doing takes work. Even if you have natural talent for something, you still work hard to keep improving more and more.
I just have to remind myself what I want won't just fall into my lap. I have to put myself out there, even in what feels like a vulnerable spot. I have to remember I do have a natural talent to hone--it just wasn't the cornet for me!
Part III coming soon!
Wow. Sorry to hear that. I meet people who are better than me at things all the time. I kind of admire them. I usually avoid things I'm no good at too. Probably why I can't ride a bike or drive.
ReplyDeleteI do admire people who are great at what they do, especially when it's something they love. It was really not that bad for me--I have always been overly self conscious! Now that I'm older, I think it's more about how we perceive ourselves rather than constantly comparing ourselves to others. I tend to still do that, although I did much more when I was younger.
DeleteAnd you know what? There's still time! I could learn to play a different instrument, and who knows, maybe I'd kick ass at that one!