That Time I Fell Off the Face of the Earth

Hey Donnie Darlings! I know it's been quite a while since you've heard from me here. Unfortunately this year I haven't been able to keep up with the blog as much as I've wanted. I have a ton of reviews that are begging to be written, but I just can't seem to get myself in the mood to write them. 

I'm very particular about how I write reviews - it has to feel "right" for me in order to put it out there in the world. If it feels like utter crap, I can't publish that. I'd feel highly uncomfortable. But in order to be at my best, I've gotta feel like doing it - otherwise, it'll show, rendering the review useless anyway. So complicated it seems! 

Looking back over 2014, I can't believe I posted just about every single day. How did I do that? I ask myself. Toward the end of the year, I started slowing down so I think I was getting burned out by then. 

I'm totally out of the loop now. I haven't commented regularly on blogs in months and there aren't nearly as many comments on my blog as there used to be. I don't feel like I'm a part of the book blogging community anymore, and I'm desperate to regain a place there. Every time I sit down to comment on blogs, I end up writing an article for my job instead. :P  Which I should do anyway, lol. But, you see, my good intentions to comment don't end up panning out, and it makes me sad.   

So, I want to share with you, dear Donnie Darlings, what's been going on over the last several months! Here's what's been going on!

New Blog Design! 

I meant to write a post about this a looong time ago but never did. :P This was the year I wanted to move to self hosting, but I also knew I wasn't going to be able to do it. I just don't have the money at this time to truly invest, and I want the results to be fabulous. I don't want to half ass it, know what I mean? 

Instead, I decided to give myself a little Christmas present by buying a new premade blog layout. Eventually I want to work with a designer and get something really awesome and custom that shows off my love for horror and all things dark. But I also like my hipster side, and I found a premade blog design by Parajunkee. I bought it from her Etsy shop, and I really love it. I think it's a cleaner, more user friendly look.

There's a few things I've been meaning to fix but never seem to have the time - the biggest one being my social media buttons aren't up yet. They haven't been for months! I've really gotta get on that. 

What do you guys think? Was it a shock the first time you saw it? :D  

New Job!

If you don't already know, I got a job writing for a website called the Inquisitr. I started an internship with them at the end of December. After writing 40 articles for them, they evaluated my performance and decided to keep me on as a writer! I love writing and can't believe I'm getting paid to do it. Plus I can pick my own topics as long as it's something that's trending. I've written about science news, politics, sports, celebrity gossip, movies, authors... it's a really awesome gig I was able to find. 

Click here to check out all of my articles in one place!    

I FINALLY converted my husband into a Whovian!

This is HUGE news. I really didn't think this was ever going to happen. By the middle of season two, he was addicted. Every night, we watch two or three episodes, and as of this posting, we're on the finale for season 5. 

One of the funniest things to me about this whole conversion process is when the Tenth Doctor regenerated into the Eleventh, my husband said, "I don't like him." 

I can't let an opportunity to tease my husband go by like that, so I said, "Aw, you miss Ten! That's so cute!" Haha!

As he's trying not to smile, he explained that David Tennant played the Doctor with pure glee. Everything David saw and did as the Doctor, he played it so well you felt like he really was seeing it all for the first time. His excitement is infectious. I have to agree with my husband - David's excitement in his role was definitely infectious.  

I do like Matt Smith as Eleven. He brings his own unique characterization to the role of the Doctor, and I'm hoping my husband warms up to him more. I am kind of up and down with Eleven. I liked him right away, but then I've gone through periods of time where I miss Ten a lot.   

I've become a Fannibal!  

In case you haven't heard of Fannibals, we're avid fans of the NBC show, Hannibal. I believe I can count myself among them now. :D If you haven't watched it, you must! It's a visual feast, there's just no better way to describe it. 

So how did I start watching it? Well, one of my besties has been a Fannibal from the beginning. I wanted to watch it but needed to do some serious catching up. I saw it was on Amazon Prime and caught up that way. 

I've been trying to convert said bestie into a Whovian, so we agreed that for every episode of Hannibal I watched, she'd watch Doctor Who. Granted, she has many more seasons to watch than I did, but I'm hoping she sticks with it. It'll be worth it, I swear, because then you start getting all the feels. 

But back to Hannibal, I devoured (haha) those two seasons in just a few nights. Since I only had Prime for the free month trial, I'm buying Hannibal on DVD - that's how much I love that damn show.


So that's the basics of what's been going on in my life. My daughter just finished her first year of junior high today, and my son is starting kindergarten in the fall, so I'm also freaking out about all of those changes getting ready to happen. I alternate between happiness that I actually made it here and depression that things are changing without my permission, lol. I have a really difficult time with change. I don't know if you guys do, too, but it's just hard for me. I'll adjust I suppose. I have to, right? 

What's been going on with you guys? Catch me up! :D 

Discussion ~ Why Read a Book About Two Teens with Cancer? #TFIOS

On a Personal Note...

I wrote a movie review for The Fault in Our Stars a couple weeks ago. If you'd like to read it, please click here. I doubt I'll end up writing a book review - there are tons, so it already has a lot of exposure.

But I did want to write about the book on a personal level, which I didn't think would be too relevant or interesting in a traditional book review. 

For those asking why anyone would want to see a sad movie or read a sad book about two teens with cancer, I totally get what you're saying. I couldn't possibly read book after book with subject matter this heavy; I need escapism, too. A ton of the fiction I read are with situations that are completely made up and could never happen (well, hopefully could never happen 0.0). But I also like reading about serious subjects from time to time. It's cathartic. 

For me, it's easy to explain why I love this book so much. The characters are lovable, the dialogue is sharply witty, and I suppose also because I know what it's like to live with someone who has cancer and wanted to see from the other perspective. From The Fault in Our Stars, I learned some things about my grief I didn't know before. 

When I was eleven, my grandpa died from brain cancer, and I was fourteen when my mom died from the same type of brain cancer. My mom was diagnosed after my grandpa had already died. Once they were diagnosed, there was basically no hope they'd survive - the tumors had intricately wrapped themselves around blood vessels to where they were impossible to remove completely without severing one of those blood vessels, causing instant death. 

They both lived with cancer for over a year until they died. It was a roller coaster for my family, living through this disease twice. Sometimes I feel like I'm sleepwalking through life instead of actually living. I don't get the point of why they suffered. Was it just random? Why would the universe think one family should have to go through so much sickness and death? 

My anger and bitterness comes from more than losing both of them - it was seeing them suffer for so long, and there was nothing we could do about it. I remember wanting to run away from home because I couldn't breathe - the disease was suffocating me. I was thirteen at the time. 

There were moments when they wanted to tell us something badly but couldn't remember the words to express themselves, and their frustration was downright palpable. There was a night when my mom had at least three seizures in a row, and I thought for sure she was going to die that night. I was so angry when the ER sent us home, telling us there wasn't anything they could do except to adjust her dilantin levels (the medicine she took to prevent seizures). 

I learned from reading The Fault in Our Stars that it's not only possible but very likely my mom thought of herself as a grenade. That she was afraid of leaving us alone in the aftermath of her death. I know she thought about what would happen to me and my sister without having her anymore because she asked our grandma to help Dad look after us. 

And I bet she probably was worried about leaving Dad alone to raise two teenage girls - not worried about his ability to do it but feeling bad she would be gone soon without any choice in the matter. This wasn't what they had planned when they fell in love, got married, and had me and my sister. Yet they had to deal with it anyway because they were forced to.   

This book gave me hope, that if this girl with cancer can find a way to live, to truly LIVE and not just sleepwalk through life, then maybe I can, too. I think that's what I needed the most - to see that even in the most dire of situations, there can be a way through the darkness, and you don't have to go alone. 

Discussion ~ Amazon Review Voting

I have to blow off some steam about something that's been bugging me for a while now - voting whether reviews on Amazon are helpful or not. I know it's kind of a silly thing to be ticked off at all about. I'm more annoyed than steaming about it really.   

Right now, I've posted 168 reviews with a total of 93 helpful votes out of 107 votes total, which really isn't bad when you look at it. But I don't see the point of voting my review as unhelpful if it really isn't. For instance, had I just written something completely generic, then I would understand how that isn't going to help someone in deciding whether or not to buy a book. 

But my reviews aren't like that. Maybe if they're a bit rambling then that wouldn't be helpful? I don't know. I put a lot into writing my reviews and keep at them until I'm 110% satisfied with what I've written. Sheesh, if I'm complaining about this, I can only imagine what I'll be like when I'm an author and get negative reviews. ;) Nah, I'll handle them like a champ. For real.  

I recognize I'm obviously not the only reviewer who gets voted as unhelpful, and there are reviews I've read from other bloggers which are helpful so I can't help but wonder why they are not voted as such. Sometimes it almost seems like people do it to be jerks. And I bet they aren't reviewing nearly as much as we are.   

If an author gives a book in exchange for an honest review and say you rate it two stars, does the author have the right to ask you not to post your review on Amazon? And if the author asks you this, do you end up not posting it there? Is it fair? I'm feeling torn about this because I know how much work goes into writing a book and can only imagine how much goes into publishing it, especially if he or she is self publishing. 

In Case You Missed It #3 ~ January 2014

* In Case You Missed It #3 *
(Formerly Monthly Wrap Up) 

Blog Tours {12}

Silent Echo: A Siren's Tale by Elisa Freilich {Review} Jan 3

Luminary (Anomaly #2) by Krista McGee {Character Profile} Jan 6 

SALT by Danielle Ellison {Review} Jan 7

Branded by Abi Ketner & Missy Kalicicki {Review} Jan 9

I Found You by Jane Lark {Review} Jan 10

Savor by Kate Evangelista {Review} Jan 13 

Psycho Inside Me by Bonnie R. Paulson {Review} Jan 16

E.J. Wesley's Winter Thrills & Chills Blog Tour {Review} Jan 17

The Unseemly Education of Anne Merchant by Joanna Wiebe {Guest Post} Jan 22

Used & Confused (Getting Inside of V #1 & #2) by Kate Lynne {Review} Jan 27 

The Death of Ink by M.M. John {Promo} Jan 29

The Replacement by Rachael Wade {Review} Jan 31

Book Reviews {1}

Salt Kills by Dr. Surender R. Neravetla with Dr. Shantanu R. Neravetla Jan 1

Special {10}

Bout of Books 9.0 ~ Sign Up & Goals Jan 5

Bout of Books 9.0 ~ Day One Jan 7 

Bout of Books 9.0 ~ Day Two Jan 8

Bout of Books 9.0 ~ Day Three Jan 9

Bout of Books 9.0 ~ Day Four Jan 10

Bout of Books 9.0 ~ Day Five Jan 11

Bout of Books 9.0 ~ Day Six Jan 12

Bout of Books 9.0 ~ Day Seven & Wrap Up Jan 13

Happy Two Year Blogoversary to Me with a Giveaway! Jan 19

Discussion ~ A Lack of YA Horror? Jan 21 

Think Out Loud {3} 

Think Out Loud #25 ~ What About the Christmas Queen? Hmm? Jan 2

Think Out Loud #26 ~ New Year's Eve Jan 11

Think Out Loud #27 ~ Joss Whedon + Romance = Not Gonna Happen Jan 23

Feature & Follow Friday {3}

Feature & Follow #36 ~ Blogger Buds Jan 18

Feature & Follow #37 ~ Get Ready 'Cause Your TBR Is About to Become Putty in My Hands! Jan 24

Feature & Follow #38 ~ This Is Spinal Tap Jan 31

Monthly Wrap Up {1}  

Monthly Wrap Up #2 December Jan 2 

Cover Reveals {6}

Lotus Petals by Brantwijn Serrah Jan 3

Violet is Blue by Tawny Stokes Jan 8

Orenda by Ruth Silver Jan 11

Synchrony (Destiny #2) by Cindy Ray Hale Jan 14

A Grimm Legacy by Janna Jennings Jan 23

A Beautiful Mistake by Emily McKee Jan 31

Book Blitzes / Blasts {9}

After Alex died by Dakota Madison Jan 2

Days Gone Bad (Vesik #1) by Eric R. Asher Jan 6 

The Upside of Being Let Down by London Casey Jan 7

Wasteland by Lindsey Leggett Jan 17

Keep Breathing by Alexia Purdy Jan 18

The Appeal of Evil by Pembroke Sinclair Jan 22

Hidden Magic by Melanie Crouse Jan 24

Forsaken (Daughters of the Sea #1) by Kristen Day Jan 29

Moonflower by EDC Johnson Jan 30

Man, another month has passed us by. It's hard to believe we're already a month into the new year. I was just thinking how my New Year's Eve date to see Anchorman 2 feels like it was just yesterday. Wow! 

I'm looking forward to February - one month closer to spring, woo hoo! Here's a couple photos for all my fellow Trekkies out there. :D

January 2014

February 2014

  

Discussion: A Lack of YA Horror?

Last summer, I was at Barnes & Noble perusing the YA section (always head there first!) when I happened to overhear a man asking an employee to help him find a YA horror novel for his teenage daughter's birthday present. After an unsuccessful search, she recommended a H.P. Lovecraft novel. He thanked her, and she left. I personally haven't read anything by H.P. Lovecraft, which I plan to since I believe he had a profound effect on today's horror, but my husband has warned me it isn't easy reading. 

The father looked as though he was unsure about buying the book, and I started talking to him, wanting to help him find something she might like better. I know if I were sixteen, I probably wouldn't be too enthusiastic about H.P. Lovecraft. I told him it isn't easy reading, then cursed myself because I just made it sound like I thought his daughter was an idiot. I quickly said I meant that it reads a lot differently than horror novels we're used to today. I explained it's much more subtle and that even my husband said at times he struggled with the writing holding his attention. 

He said he knew I didn't mean anything by what I had said at first (whew!), and we started looking in YA again. I suggested many different books that were as close to horror as I could find, one of those being ANNA DRESSED IN BLOOD. To my horror (haha, pun intended), there was almost nothing at the store that could be considered horror to me. Maybe I'm wrong, but I struggled to find something awesome even though I had suggested a lot of books. Every book I recommended, he shot down, saying his daughter wouldn't like it. Not even ANNA DRESSED IN BLOOD!!! O.O

I wasn't offended, just frustrated because I wanted to help sooo much and put my knowledge of YA to good use! So...what got me thinking about all of this? A blitz I'm posting tomorrow for THE APPEAL OF EVIL by Pembroke Sinclair - the author has written honest-to-goodness YA horror novels that are going on my TBR. I didn't really end up helping him unfortunately. I can't remember if he ended up picking out something or not. Maybe he got her a gift card? Always a good idea if you aren't sure what to pick up a bookworm. 

There aren't enough YA horror novels out there in my opinion. While zombies definitely belong in the horror genre, I'd also love to see horror novels without zombies. I want the kind of horror like Stephen King, Peter Straub, in YA form. It'd be so cool to read about haunted houses, ghosts, and other freaky stuff that will scare the pants off of me! LOL 

I miss Christopher Pike books SO much. I'm not sure he's written anything recently, but I've collected most of the books of his I grew up reading. My favorites are Witch, Whisper of Death, Monster, and Road to Nowhere. WITCH makes me cry every time - there's a particular scene that is so sweet and so sad, no matter how many times I've read this book, the tears are brought out immediately. The same for my sister, and sometimes I'm convinced the girl has a heart of stone, lol. 

What do you guys think? Is there a lack of YA horror? Do you have any titles to recommend that I may be missing? 

november rain

Hey you guys! Yep, I dropped off the face of the planet for pretty much half of November and up until now in December. November was one crazy month for me and my fam. Are you ready for the deets?

I marched into NaNoWriMo with guns blazing; however, I didn't make it. I didn't even make it halfway. I ended with 20,542 words, which isn't too shabby. My plan was definitely to connect with others and lament over the bad days and celebrate the good, but I just fell off the face of the Earth! >.< I really didn't mean for that to happen, and I hope you guys are hanging in there with me--I feel awful for neglecting my blog and definitely neglecting to talk to my friends.

Here's the craziness that was my November:

There was the election!

My son's birthday and birthday party! He's 3 now and getting to be such a big boy. :)


Jack blowing out his candle with his dad and sister

I'm having some health issues--I had to go to the ER, had a follow up with my regular physician, and am scheduled for surgery this Tuesday. My gallbladder will be removed due to gallstones. The surgeon also told me I have a hernia from my last pregnancy, and he'll take care of that. He is possibly going to remove part of my liver for a biopsy, eek! I'm kind of nervous about this whole thing.

My dear, dear friend, who's really more of a sister to me, came and stayed with us for a few days. It was wonderful to see her! She moved to Austin back in July, and though we keep in regular contact, it was great to hang out with her and go out to do stuff together. :D We hung out with a couple of our friends from high school, too, and we aren't able to all get together like we used to now that we all live in different places.

There was Thanksgiving!

I'm still adjusting to walking on my foot after breaking two bones in my ankle in July. I've been without crutches and the walking boot for a little over a month, and the most trouble I have with it is walking down stairs. I look really funny and awkward walking down stairs--for example at the mall last weekend, we took the stairs instead of the escalator. I'm slow and funny, lol! XD

I was sick with the respiratory flu for a week; however, I am so incredibly thankful I wasn't ill when my friend came to visit and wasn't ill for Thanksgiving. That's a bright spot. :D

My dog, Beau, was neutered, poor guy! He's a Cavalier King Charles spaniel, and my husband was wanting to pimp him out, lol!

The card my in-laws gave us the day Beau was neutered, lol

Really, my life would not be interesting to me without all of the chaos going on. I thrive on it--there's always something going on at my full house, with my husband, me, our 10 year old, 3 year old, our dog, two cats, my sister, and her 4 month old baby. It was really cool when my friend came to stay with us. I love all of us being here together.

To everyone who survived NaNoWriMo, congratulations! I learned a lot from attempting it this year that I will put to good use next year.

I'll talk to y'all very very soon!

Happy Holidays!!

review copies :D

Hey everyone! I want to do a quick post today listing all of the books I'm reading for review. I really should have participated in the Review Copy Clean-up many blogs took part in, but I was too shy to put myself out there, lol. Hopefully, this quick post will help me get organized and hopefully alleviate my feeling of overwhelmedness. Yep, I just said "overwhelmedness." It's a word. Look it up. ;)

I've just finished these books for review recently and am getting ready to write up my reviews:


I'm currently reading:

In no particular order, these are the books in my review pile:

                 



     

I'm getting ready for a reading marathon! These all look amazing, and I am so excited to dig in! :D
How about you? Do you have a review pile that seems to keep growing? :D

I'm with the Band ~ Part 3

I'm hoping my daughter will want to be in the band. She's about reached the end of her third grade year, and here where we live, students have the option of choosing to be in the band and picking out an instrument at the end of fourth grade. At this time, she says she doesn't plan on being in the band, but I have a feeling she may change her mind once they bust out those instruments. :)

She says she'd rather be a cheerleader, which her dad and I totally support. Any school activity she'd like to participate in, we're all for it. If she chooses not to be in band, I'll be a bit sad, but I've never made her join in any school activities that she did not want to be a part of. I won't force her to be in band either, obviously. :)  Besides, I always wanted to be a cheerleader when I was in junior high and high school, but I never had the guts to try out. I'd be ecstatic to see my outgoing daughter try out for something she really wants to do!

If she does end up wanting to be in band, I'm really curious as to what instrument she'll want to play. I'm not even going to say anything about any instrument because I want to make sure the decision is totally hers. :)   I have a feeling she won't want to play the cornet--she'll want to play something different from me. I'd be excited no matter what she wants to play! Her dad may pass out from sticker shock like my dad did, but it isn't like they make you pay the entire amount all at once. I'll have to remind him of that once I revive him with some cold water!

Which Direction?

A year or two ago, my husband suggested I start up a blog when I told him I needed some motivation to achieve my dream of becoming a writer. I wanted something that would get my writing out there and help me feel more proactive. I write in a journal, which I love to do, but it isn't quite the same as blogging for me. My journal is not for the world to read, hahaha!

I guess I must not have been ready to begin yet back then, but once I began working on my blog at the end of January this year, my nervousness at opening up began to lessen. I'm happy to have a forum where many others can read my writing, and I can work on it and improve it.

My only question lately has been if my blog should be targeted more specifically to a certain topic. Right now, I'm writing about anything that comes to mind--stories about my children, reviews on books I've recently read and enjoyed (I want to help out indie authors as much as possible), stories from my childhood, and just about any other topic.

Would it be more beneficial to stick with one subject? I don't really know for sure, but it seems it would limit me in what I want to accomplish here. I think I'll continue with what I've been doing and just hope people are enjoying what they're reading. :)

hello, my name is jennifer, and i'm a soap addict

If my grandma were still with us today, she would be absolutely devastated with the precarious state of soaps these days. I can't help but think of her every time I watch them. If losing two of the soaps she had watched for decades weren't enough--Guiding Light ended in '09 and As the World Turns in '10--then the demise of All My Children and One Life to Live would have sealed the deal, causing worry and speculation the remaining FOUR (yep, I said four) would be next on the chopping block.

She watched all four of the CBS soaps (back when there were more than four soaps total) for, well, I don't even know exactly how long. Forever practically. The love was passed down to my mom, who passed it down to me. I was watching Young and the Restless from the womb!! I remember when I was three or four, drinking water daintily from a Dixie cup, pretending I was the very rich, very elegant Katherine Chancellor.

For anyone who doesn't understand a soap fan's love for the genre, there are a few things to know that might help clear up the confusion. First of all, watching them is usually passed down from generation to generation and is something that as an adult you can fondly remember from your childhood. Such is the case for me. I can remember the times I watched them at my grandma's house while on summer break from school, or the times my mom and I watched the episodes she taped for when she came home from work. It's something tangible you can hang onto and use to feel close to your parents and grandparents if they've passed on.

The characters and dialogue can be superb. Those are my favorite moments, when I have to rewind and watch a scene a second time because it was written and acted so well. I need that second time to absorb the moment. If you know the characters and their histories really well, then certain dialogue between characters is so witty and simply entertaining to watch--for instance, when snarky characters are being especially snarky with some snappy comebacks.

Soaps are an escape from the "real world." Are there crazy storylines that could never happen in real life? Absolutely! But we soap fans watch anyway to be entertained, suspending our disbelief in order to escape for an hour or two from the daily grind.

When you think about what it takes to produce a soap, there are a lot of constraints that must be dealt with--for instance, there can only be so many actors and consequently, only so many love interests, etc. for characters to interact with. They put out five shows every week. There are pages and pages of dialogue for the actors to memorize in a very short time. Writers have to remember history when writing new scenes and storylines--sometimes decades and decades of history. And these are just a few examples!

So yes, I am a soap fan. And I am so not ashamed of it! :D

Upcoming Posts:

• SOS (Saving Our Soaps)
• i'm with the band ~ part iii
• nice guys finish last
• book reviews

spring vacay!

Since winter break, I counted down the days until spring break. It's funny, too, because a lot of people I know are like, "Ack! The kids are gonna be home for a week?!?" In my case, having my nine-year-old daughter home is not only very helpful to me, but I also love hanging out with her! She's one cool chick, and all of our friends and family have always been impressed with her maturity. She looks younger than nine, but she definitely talks and behaves like she's a little adult.

My husband took off work last week, and we had booked a room at the Bavarian Inn in Frankenmuth, Michigan--our favorite family vacation spot. This was the fourth year we have gone with our daughter, and it was the second year our two-year-old son went. After the first time we went, when our daughter was three, we never really planned to keep coming back; however, we had so much fun, and it isn't too far away (it's about a five hour drive from here, including rest stops) that we keep going back.

I must admit, I was a bit nervous about how our son would do on the drive up there after what happened last year when he cried for the last two hours straight before we arrived at our destination. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot, we all jumped out of the car with our nerves completely fried. He just wanted out of the car, and there was no comforting him.

This year, however, he did just fine. He slept about half of the way, and then we stopped for lunch and let the kids stretch their legs before resuming our trip. His sister entertained him the rest of the way. It was really cool hearing them getting along and laughing together--that doesn't happen too terribly often.

We left on Sunday and came home on Thursday--three days before Easter. We shopped, swam, went out to eat, played games (think Chuck-E-Cheese), and tried to just relax. I say tried because with a two-year-old little boy, that's a challenge in and of itself! What's really nice about Frankenmuth and the Bavarian Inn in particular is that everything is within close range. The Bavarian Inn has swimming pools, a game area where you can win tickets for prizes, restaurants, gift shops, and a putt putt course, and all of this is indoors, which is great in case it rains.

Frankenmuth is a small town with plenty of restaurants and gift shops along its main strip. Everything is German-themed (it's known as Michigan's Little Bavaria), and it's famous for fudge, cheese, taffy, and several course meals that you need to be wheeled out of the restaurant afterwards. There's definitely a lot to do within a nice little area, and it's very family-friendly.

The trip definitely went way too fast, and before we knew it, we were home. It's always a bit sad to come home and get back to the regular routine. Four days after we came home, my daughter was back in school, and my spring break was over as well. I wonder where we'll go next year! ;)

I'm with the Band ~ Part II

Wow, I've been pretty much slacking here with my writing lately! With the lovely weather, animals, kids, laundry, and a multitude of other responsibilities, I don't get left with a lot of time to breathe! But here I go, back on the ball again!

Though so many positives came from band, there was also a downside to my time as a cornet player--I totally sucked. Really and truly. I didn't think that practicing would help, and so I didn't. Hardly ever. Now, however, I realize how wrong I was and had I practiced a lot more than what I did, I could have become a better player. Maybe even great.

Now my sister on the other hand oozed with natural talent. Her flute was like an appendage. She just knew how to use it and use it gracefully and beautifully. She had crazy talent. Still does, though I haven't heard her play in forever and don't even know if she still plays or not. She didn't even have to work at it, and I don't remember her practicing much. When she did, though, it wasn't really practice. It was more like honing her skill.

I was crazy jealous! I remember when I was ten years old, and it was Christmas. My aunt and uncle were at our house, and I played a song for them--I don't remember whose idea it was for me to play. I had just begun band. I messed up one or two notes and tried my best to hold back my tears. It didn't work, and I needed to be alone. Off to my bedroom I went and cried for a while. I always have been much too sensitive.

The problem is that even now I have a bad tendency to avoid doing things I'm not good at even if the objective is to become better. I am impatient and want to be perfect right off the bat, but how often does that happen to us with anything we want to do? Anything worth doing takes work. Even if you have natural talent for something, you still work hard to keep improving more and more.

I just have to remind myself what I want won't just fall into my lap. I have to put myself out there, even in what feels like a vulnerable spot. I have to remember I do have a natural talent to hone--it just wasn't the cornet for me!

Part III coming soon!

i'm with the band--part 1

I just recently sold my cornet to my good friend's brother. My twenty-year-old cornet! How did it get to be so old? I remember getting it when I was ten and in the fifth grade. I have such a sentimental attachment to that instrument, and what's really hysterical is that I asked if I could still "visit" it once in a while. Not to play it, but just see it and remember the many years of my life spent in the band. Wow, I'm the very epitome of "band nerd!"

The other day, I happened to find a picture my dad had taken of me marching in the Homecoming parade one year, and that memory tugged at my heartstrings a bit! So many awesome benefits came about for me once I joined the band. It's where I cemented my friendships that had begun in elementary school and junior high. Many of my wild and funny memories came from being in band (some sharing of these may come later!). It served as a haven for those of us who didn't feel like we fit in anywhere else in high school. We belonged there and could feel comfortable being our genuine selves. I was and will always be proud to be a band nerd!

I must say I still have nightmares, however, where I forget my band locker combination, or I'm supposed to be in the halftime show but my instrument is broken or missing. Then there are the nightmares where I'm marching in the halftime show and have my instrument, but I forget where to go next. It feels so real sometimes that it'll take me a minute upon waking to remember I'm not in high school anymore and haven't been for over ten years! It's funny how these kinds of dreams still plague me after all this time. I guess you can take the girl out of the band, but you can't take the band out of the girl.

autumn or winter?

The winter blues have got me down. Yeah, I know it hasn't really been much of a winter so far here in Ohio. It's more like autumn has run all the way into February, except it isn't very pretty outside like the true autumn season. At least in fall there are beautiful leaves changing colors, bright orange pumpkins, and the pleasant scent of wood stoves fired up to keep houses warm. Even the sunshine is gorgeus.

Yesterday was actually a beautiful day. The sun was out and shining, and you could see a lot of blue sky. Days like that are hard to come by this time of year in this area, and when I actually wake up to one, I realize more than ever how much the weather affects my mood. I need the sun!

Since it hasn't been snowing, the days are mostly drab--the trees are bare, the sky is overcast, and it's been raining quite a bit with mud everywhere. I'd rather see some snow! I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority around here, and don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining just to be complaining. Honestly! I don't mean I want ten feet of snow or anything, but a dusting would be great, without any ice of course! I absolutely love sitting with my kids and watching the snow gently falling outside, knowing we're warm and dry inside our house. I feel extremely peaceful and at ease.

I just hope the winter doesn't show up in March with the intention of settingup camp until May. If that happens, I'm going to seriously regret asking for any snow period!

From a fellow mother

February 7, 2012

On the news back in December of '09, it was reported that a mother of two young boys, Susan Powell, went missing in Utah. This happened not long after my son was born, and I remember looking at him, wanting to protect not just my children but all children from any of the terrible things that could happen in life. There are times still to this day that I cannot help but be afraid of all the possible scenarios where either something happens to me or someone I love. I think we all experience this at one time or another; we just have to find a way to live for each day and not allow the fear to overwhelm us or take over our lives.

As a fellow mother, it seemed I could feel the pain she must have been feeling.  I was both horrified that she went missing yet hopeful that she would be found. I followed most of the news regarding the search and investigation. Not once did I think the father's (Josh Powell) story made any sense. Who takes his young sons camping at midnight in freezing temperatures? This didn't sound likely to me at all, and I always thought there was something not quite right about him.

While watching T.V. late Monday night, my sister and I happened to be watching MSNBC where we saw the news that Josh Powell had burned his house down while he was inside of it with his two boys. I couldn't believe it--I just sat there in shock, trying to imagine what those boys must have endured. Their lives ended much too soon, and every opportunity they could have had in life was stolen from them by their own father. Their own father, who had professed to love them and claimed he was staying strong for them.  

I can't help but think that Josh Powell was involved in his wife's disappearance, and I think she is probably dead. Her own parents believe she is dead. He proved he was a violent man and capable of murder when he took a hatchet to his sons and burned down his house with the three of them locked inside. With the pictures of Susan Powell that authorities found in the possession of Mr. Powell's father last fall, I think it's also likely he was involved right along with his son.  There is definitely something off with him. I don't even want to say what other kinds of pictures Mr. Powell's father was found to have.

The authorities reported the mystery behind Susan Powell's disappearance may never be solved. Just when I didn't believe this situation could be any more tragic, now her parents have not only very likely lost their daughter but also their grandchildren. It must be hard to have no closure, to never know what has happened to your daughter. My heart goes out to Susan Powell, her children, and her parents. May this never happen to another family.

and the giants won

February 6, 2012

Wow, I was wrong! The Giants won. That's cool, though; I like Eli Manning. I don't hate the Giants. Last year, I was about to die thinking the Steelers might win. Now that's a team I hate; they play dirty, and they're unnecessarily rough.

I was disappointed that Madonna was chosen to perform the halftime show, but I actually enjoyed her performance. I did want to hear "Ray of Light" though. She didn't seem to dance as much as I've seen her dance before. The choreography was definitely lacking.

Apparently, the big story is M.I.A. flipping off viewers during the performance. I was wondering who was center stage with Madonna and Nicki Minaj. I didn't notice this and wouldn't have known it had happened if I hadn't been reading tweets from Twitter after it was over. I doubt she'll be asked to perform on live TV again. 

Eh, it's not a big deal to me. I'm sure tons of people are freaking out, but I also bet there are tons of people like me who didn't notice. Besides, what did anyone expect? This is the same artist who had a hit song about marijuana a few years ago. Thank your lucky stars there wasn't a wardrobe malfunction!  

Who's gonna win?

February 5, 2012

(Photo from the Patriots Google Plus page)

I'm ready and excited for the Super Bowl tomorrow evening. (Well, technically tonight since it's after midnight.)  I get to hang with family, the commercials are usually pretty funny, and it's an excuse to eat good food that's usually not good for you! As if I need an excuse!!

This year is cool 'cause I don't hate either team. I do like the Pats and would rather they win, but they just won not that long ago. I kind of wanted a team to go who either has never gone to the Super Bowl or hasn't gone in a long time. That's always fun to watch.  Man, I'd love to see my Bengals go one year. That would be wild!! 

As you may have surmised, I'm a Bengals fan; however, I celebrated right alongside the Saints when they won back in 2010. That was amazing to see, especially because they fought so valiantly and brought some happiness to the hard hit post-Katrina area.  

I hope there are some clever commercials this year. Last year, my fave was the little boy pretending he was Darth Vader. So cute!

For those of you who can't tear yourself away from your phone or tablet, you're in luck! For the first time ever, you can watch the game live online or on your mobile phone. Here's the link:      www.superbowl.com/

Who will win? I think the Patriots have a good shot, although I could be wrong. Guess we'll just have to wait and see, but my intuition says we'll be watching the Pats claim another Super Bowl victory with Tom Brady at the helm!

The 46th Super Bowl will take place on Sunday, February 5, 2012 at Lucas Oil Stadium. Kickoff is scheduled for 6:30 ET on NBC.