IWSG #3 ~ August 2012



July has been really great for my writing! I knew that if I promised in my last IWSG post to have progress to report to everyone, then I would hold myself accountable and actually start writing instead of just talking about writing!  And that's just what I did. :)

First of all, I went out and bought a notebook to write my book in. You might wonder why I didn't just start typing on my laptop. Well, I decided I want to be able to write anytime, anywhere. I love writing with a pen in a notebook and seeing everything I've written at once. To me, there's nothing like looking at a page in a notebook; the endless possibilities positively overwhelm me. I relish that feeling, whether the page is filled up with my words or even blank, doesn't matter. Besides, I look at enough screens during the day between TV, my Kindle, and my iPod. I do spend time on the computer everyday, too--reading and commenting on blogs, keeping up with friends and family on Facebook and Goodreads. :) I feel like cutting down on some screen time right now and will type it up once I finish handwriting it.

I want to explain more about what it is that I'm working on. I was twelve years old and nearing the end of seventh grade when we found out my mom was diagnosed with brain cancer. Shortly after I turned fourteen and two weeks before my first day of high school as a freshman, my mom lost her battle. She had just turned forty.

Before all of this happened, my grandpa, her dad, was diagnosed with the same type of brain cancer when I was nine, and I was eleven when he lost his battle. My other grandpa, my dad's dad, died just two months later (not from any type of cancer). To sum it all up, I lost both of my grandpas and my mom within three years. That was a lot of grief for all of us to handle. This period of time is my focus, but as you can imagine, a lot of grief has spilled over into my adulthood affecting me still to this day and especially when I became a mother myself.         

It feels good just to get started. One day, I wrote thirteen pages and felt like hey, I'm going somewhere! The thing about writing my memoir, especially taking into account the subject matter is grief, is that it feels like going to counseling when I begin writing for the day. I don't want to face my emotions at first, but once I get into a groove, it's hard for me to stop writing. Afterwards, I feel a little lighter having faced some heavy emotional work.

By writing this book, I'm reliving some of the saddest parts of my life. From the moment I learned of my mom's diagnosis and the world as I knew it spun out of control, the words for this book began forming in my mind, biding their time to come out someday. And that someday is here at last! <3

8 comments:

  1. Wow - what a loss. :( I think that's a wonderful way to work through your grief. Good for you. ;) And I love your notebook idea. If I didn't hate typing from a pre-written page so much, I'd probably do the same thing.

    IWSG #179 (At least until Alex culls the list again. :P)

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    1. Hi there, I just want to say how sorry I am for taking too long to respond. If you read my latest post, you'll see what's been going on. This is def out of the ordinary for me, and I'm checking out your blog as soon as I can. :) Thank you for checking out mine. :) I'm behind on everything right now, lol.

      I've written about my grief, talked about it, thought about it, even dreamed about it, and each time that I do, I learn new things about myself. I try to dig down deep through my feelings and get to the root of things. I need to go through everything all over again as an adult to reshape my views in an objective way, at least as objective as possible. Kids blame themselves when bad things happen, and now that I'm an adult, I see and know more than I did as a kid. I blamed myself for so long because I felt like I was selfish while my mom was going through the brain surgery, the radiation treatments, and the chemotherapy. But there wasn't anything I could've done differently that would have changed things. I was just a kid, too, so I had unrealistic expectations of how I should feel and what I should do. Sorry, I'm rambling. I'll be visiting you very soon! :)

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  2. All that experience is going to make for a touching memoir. the notebook idea is great. I'm not really a fan of typing (I'm a terrible typer, not formally trained), but I do like following my word-count. Great news on your progress. Just think where you'll be next month. :)

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    1. I'm incredibly sorry it's taken me so long to reply. It's not the norm for me; please read my latest post, and you'll see what's kept me away from my blog for so long.

      Thank you! I'm just excited that you have referred me to this group because it's given me new friends to reach out to, a place to voice my uncertainty since I'm just starting out, and a way to help myself do the work and become disciplined with my writing. I can't thank you enough for visiting my blog and commenting--it's an honor. Thank you.

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  3. Tough subject to handle, but glad you are rolling forward with it.

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    1. I apologize for taking so long to get back with you. My latest blog post will hopefully explain the exciting and hectic week I've had.

      It's definitely tough material. I'm emotionally drained after my sessions writing the book. It's nice to draw the words out of myself and get them out there. I love that. After I finish my book, I want to begin writing fiction, and that actually makes me more nervous than writing about my life in such a personal way. Every time I read, whether it's a blog or a book, I'm more and more excited about writing fiction and finding my voice. Thank you so much for this group and taking the time to comment on my blog posts. It means the world to me.

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  4. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, what a terrible time for you and yours! I just wanted to say Hey, I'm a new follower *waves like a madwoman* and that I like your blog! I love this Insecure Writers Support Group thing, I'm thinking maybe I need to join! ;)

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    1. I'm sorry I'm just now responding! I'm ashamed to say I've been neglecting my blog. If you read my latest post, it will explain everything.

      I think this group is wonderful, and I'm so thankful to be a part of it. It's helped me in so many ways and has given me real motivation and self discipline to actually write instead of just talking about it. I hope you do join--there are so many new people to meet, and they're all awesome with awesome advice and encouragement. :) I'll be following your blog, too. Thanks so much for the follow! :)

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